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Cayman Naib
Cayman Naib

Cayman Naib was an 8th grade student in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He had a smile that linked ear-to-ear. He was a happy kid. He was your typical 13-year-old. But come March 4th, that all ended. In the midst of a squalling snow storm, he took his own life.

The first question any educator has is – “WHY?!” The question marks and exclamation points are not added for effect. They are our true thoughts. I mean, this young man had yet to deal with true heartbreak. Disappointment. Lost family members. A mortgage. Failed investments. Car crashes. And a string of other failures.

But, apparently, what it came down to was a poor test grade that came home in the mail, and that was enough for this young man to reach a breaking point. And while Cayman may no longer be with us, he has left us with 5 truly defining questions we need to ask regarding education:

 1. Why do we mitigate the sufferings of teens just because they pale in comparison to adult issues?

I can’t tell you how many adults listen to students’ problems only to judge them on the naivete of their needs. Here’s something to chew on: when a newborn baby cries because he/she is in pain, it’s the single worst pain that he/she has ever experienced up until that point. The same can be said of our students from K-12. Who are we to judge their issues? For most students dealing with their issues, this is the worst that they’ve dealt with in their life. Try being the disregarded kid at the lunch table. The kid who gets kicked in the hallway when others aren’t looking. The one who has more acne than everyone else. The child who realizes that he/she isn’t as bright as age-level peers. And that’s just in school.

 

2. Do grades and state assessment come at the well-being of kids?

Any politician, school leader, or someone close to the regulations and resources in education will say “No,” but they’ll circumvent the answer because it really is yes. We spend more money helping a child who failed a standardized test than we do on a depressed child or an inappropriately placed child.

 

3. When did we lose sight of the emotional needs of our students?

We can blame it on a certain law, a certain politician, or a certain structure of education. But, truth be told, we’re all to blame. We all will scold kids whose grades don’t match their potential. We view achievement as a paycheck that maxes out at 100% (or advanced for those of you blessed with the fun of standards-based grading), and then are upset at those who don’t hit their bonus. Some students just aren’t emotionally ready or intellectually able.

 

4. How do teachers, students, and family members move forward on an issue like this?

I couldn’t even imagine what it’s like to be the teacher who sent home the letter, the students who sat next to him in class, or, most notably, Cayman’s parents. God bless them. The teacher needs to know that there had to be an array of issues facing this young man. The students need to know that they probably didn’t know enough. We – and especially teenagers – can all be icebergs. And the parents have to forgive themselves. How were they to know?

 

5. What the hell are we doing here?

Patty Cleban said it best in her article for StateCollege.com: “Teenagers. Pressure. Demands. Expectations. The weight of our hopes and dreams on their not yet fully developed shoulders. We have to help our kids get off the hamster wheel of stress that is killing the spirit – and some of the lives – of the upcoming generation.”

Look at the young 13-year-old students in your life – whether they’re your neighbors, your students, or your own children. That’s when you’ll understand.

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Mr. Jake Miller is the 2016 National History Day Pennsylvania Teacher of the Year, a 2017 NEA Global...

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