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frustrated_teacherI feel betrayed. Hurt. Education has betrayed me and hurt me. It has turned on me like a rabid dog in the noonday sun on the hottest day in July.  I thought that I was valued as a part of this great institution called “education.”  Even before I became a teacher, I knew the value in the profession. I was fully aware of the promises, as well as the pitfalls. Even with this knowledge, I chose to leave the field of Public Relations and enter education (Okay, chose is the wrong word; forced by a Higher Power is more accurate, but that is a story for another time). I was tired of the instability in my career. I needed a guarantee, and education was it. After all, there will always be a need for teachers, right?

That was 12 years ago, and my rose colored glasses are now off. In fact, I lost those glasses long ago. When you have been involved with an activity for so long, you begin to differentiate fantasy and reality. My first five years were spent at a low performing school and the pressures placed on the students and the teachers was a hard slap of reality in my naive little face. Even though those around me were leaving in droves, I still stayed in education. I stayed because I liked what I did and I knew that those kids needed me. They needed someone who cared.

Because of my love for sharing knowledge with the future of our city and nation (our world, even), I stayed. I stayed through budget cuts, changes in administration, one change of school, change of subjects taught, and added responsibilities. I went back to school, at my own expense, so that I could be able to support an increasingly technological classroom. I was the teacher who stayed after school to provide tutoring and to sponsor extra-curricular activities so that we would educate a “whole” child. I was the teacher who took activities as mundane as a bowling field trip and turned it into a fun, yet educational experience. I gave and I gave.

I have given my all (until as recently as February 2013) and now I have nothing left to give. I feel betrayed. Hurt is probably more accurate. Our school system is undergoing drastic changes and substantial upheaval. The more I watch the news and read the newspaper stories, I am disheartened. In all that is being done, it seems that the main two stakeholders are being forgotten. It seems to me that all the “higher-ups” care about is the bottom line. The teachers have been reduced to Stepford  staff trained to follow the directions of politicians with no background or experience in education. The students have been turned into guinea pigs for the next educational idea from someone who has no concept of what it is to teach real people. Where did we lose the concept of teaching students to think and making learning exciting? When did education become a rote activity done because of a compulsory education statute? It is rare that I see a spark in the eyes of students who have just discovered something new or understood something they had never understood before.

Do I still believe in education? YES; it is the education system that we are now a part of that I am not so sure about. The Educator’s Room founder, Franchesca Warren, posed some questions to her writers: What would you do if you longer had a teaching job? What is your brand? I began to think about those questions and I decided that it was time for me to develop my brand. I took what I learned in school and my on the job training in education and I started to develop my brand. I am not yet ready to reveal my plans, but just know that it is somewhat of an education “out of the box.”  In the words of one of my business mentors, I have to have a plan. I am writing my plan, as well as working it. Yes, I am hurt and betrayed, but I am turning that thing meant for bad into something that will do lots of good.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I hope to share more with you as my journey continues. Now, back on my grind….[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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5 Comments

  1. Oh yes, yes, yes! I understand! I was going through college in the 90s with the “we need good teachers” mantra being sung at every corner… and THEEEEN… NCLB and RttT came to the forefront with their prettily packaged titles, but vicious wolves in sheep’s clothing. I feel your pain. I hope you have heard of Diane Ravitch. She is an education historian who “gets it.” She’s helping teachers everywhere unite and be heard! I too am “shifting” in my profession, as I cannot, in good conscience, continue to foist material down kids’ throats that’s just developmentally inappropriate to their age and stage of learning.

  2. Wow! It’s been a loooooong time since I went to school but I am amazed at what kids don’t know when they finish compared to what I learned in public school. We were taught some amazing things – history, geography, reading, writing and ‘rithmatic. It was sometimes boring and some times exciting, but we learned. I was extremely lucky, I was sent to what they called ‘major work classes’ when I got into the 4th grade. There were usually about 25 to 30 4th, 5th and 6th graders in our classroom. We didn’t have desks, we studied a large round tables and discussed things sitting in a circle with maybe 8 or 10 others, all from different grades. We learned to THINK!, to listen, and to interupt without being rude. We learned to discuss and put forth our own ideas and thinking. We also had compulsory classes in how to take care of ourselves physically. Things like nutrition, cleanliness, etc., and the girls learned how to put on makeup when we were older and how to manage hour hair. I also had an English teacher in 7th grade that drummed grammer and English into me so well that every class I had after her was repetition. We had music, art, gym and outdoor time to explore the area and discover things. I’m a journalist today – and a musician. I studied to be an opera singer but married right out of school. I am still learning. I was born in 1932. I don’t know what they are teaching in schools today, but from listening to my grandkids and their friends, I don’t think it’s much like what we learned. I realize the world has change incredibly, but there are still basics we need to know to live a full life. Keep at it. Maybe you can change the world in some small way. And this is driving me crazy because it won’t allow me to edit what I’ve written!!! Please excuse the typos!

  3. You are not alone. I felt like you. I taught for 17 years in low income Middle Schools until I was forced out. I was too expensive. Higher degrees means more pay. I was told “You don’t understand the culture” because I was a different “race”. I was told “You expect too much from the children” when I questioned why they did not turn in assignments. I stayed after school to work with students. I went in early. I sponsered clubs. Non of that mattered and my union did nothing to help. I was not the only teacher deemed too expensive. We were replace with adults in a “program” to to become teachers. Non certified students. Disillusioned you bet!

  4. I can’t wait to hear about your brand! As I read your post, I heard my own voice in your words . . . it could have been me speaking – although I have been in education for 29 years so have seen even more of the various “plans” that are going to fix us – just more of the same ole same ole – with just a different name and more money paid out by administration – thinking someone else – out there – has the answer. If they would just listen to the people that work with students every day – they might just get the answers – but apparently you can’t be a prophet in your own land.

  5. I just realized that, I too, hae been teaching for 29 years and your words ring so true. I can remember when we had more freedom to teach our subject matter in a way that totally engaged students and integrated all subject matter in such a way that the kids didn’t see learning science different from learning math, reading, and writing. Everything was integrated. It took talent on the teacher’s part yet it was so fun to teach the whole child. Oh, how things have changed. I look forward to reading what you come up with. I hate to leave teaching but am losing money every year..my retirement will be nothing at this rate!

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