We are only a quarter of the year in, and I am already worn out physically, mentally and emotionally. Report cards are due and I still have grading to complete. A new nine weeks begins on Wednesday and I haven’t begun to implement my ‘step it up a notch each nine weeks’ procedure. I have three new challenging kids that I just can’t seem to reach. I have several parents who have ‘checked out’ already. And to top it off we had one of our parents put on life support right before fall break. Insert ‘hearts breaking all over our school’ here.
I was also told by a parent a few weeks ago that I am ‘not compassionate enough’.
And to be honest, as I try to view myself from the outside, I’m feeling that way too.
So I’ve pity-partied, cried, gotten angry, cried some more and now I am sitting back and trying to refocus my focus.
Is that even possible this early in the school year? In twenty years of teaching, I don’t think I’ve ever had to refocus my focus earlier than the third quarter. Sigh.
As I sit here trying to figure out solutions, a change in career actually crossed my mind. To a mortician. Seriously. I even looked up the universities that offer that degree. No, I’m not kidding.
We know teacher burnout is at its highest. We know that teaching is taking its toll on teachers’ health. We know teachers are leaving the profession for better pay. We know that graduating high school seniors aren’t looking into the teaching profession like they once did. We know we have overcrowded classrooms with kids sitting on the floor because districts don’t have enough applicants to fill open positions.
And we write about all of this. And we suggest solutions. We wrap ourselves up in throwing out all the changes that we know need to be implemented. We know who needs to be booted out of positions that make stupid decisions and choices without being ‘on the front lines’. We know what best serves our classroom kids. We work twice as hard on half of a paycheck with partial supplies and hold down second jobs and summer jobs to make ends meet for our own families. We know what NEEDS to be done!
Yet not much is really being done. Are we all crying out to our legislators, or are we succumbing to the belief that everything we say is falling on their deaf ears as well? Are we challenging our districts, or are we cowering behind our jobs, knowing that if we say something, or even post something to social media, that doesn’t follow the ‘norm’ those jobs that we pour our hearts into every day could be taken from us? Are we really following what our voices are saying to each other, or do we change our tone once the ‘powers that be’ show up?
All I know is that I’m tired, I’m not prepared for the next nine weeks, I feel weak and I have a parent of a little girl in my class that might not make it out of the hospital alive which shatters my already weary heart into a million pieces.
I want to know what we can do to make our words a reality! What action can we take to turn our profession back into one that was respected, and even held in high esteem once upon a time? Even with so many variables in the equation I still believe in what we educators, as a whole, do. I believe with my whole (though weary) heart that we still make a difference. I believe that we are still that light in the dark, no matter how small our flame is right now.
[bctt tweet=”But right now, as tired as I am, I don’t believe others believe in what we do. “]And I want to change that so very badly. We need a revolution, and we need it NOW!
