Overview:
Relentless academic pressure and perfectionism are fostering hopelessness and anxiety in today’s youth, who need acceptance and reassurance—not constant threats—to believe in their future.
I was an educator in the Missouri Public School System for 31 years. I have been an educational national motivational speaker for 27 years.
I once spoke at the Missouri Honors Society Conference. Teenagers from all over the state attended. Afterwards, teachers brought their female students up to me. When I asked them what was wrong, the girls looked at me with tears in their eyes, saying, “We are never enough.”
“But you are straight-A students! How could you be better? They said the bar always moves up. We are never good enough.”
We are raising a hopeless generation. Acceptance and worth have been replaced with expectations. Expectations that can never be met. It is human nature to quit playing a game that can never be won. Our children today are under constant threats.
You have to go to college.
You have to make straight-A’s, you have to be perfect, or “YOU WON’T MAKE IT!”
When I was young, the leading cause of death among teenagers was car accidents. Today, it is guns first and suicide second. Growing up back then, no one was threatened with perfection. If adults saw you being too hard on yourself, they would pull you to the side and comfort you with all or some of the following messages:
“You all have gifts and talents that make you different, unique, and special. You don’t have to be perfect in every room you walk into to be successful. As you go through life, just keep your eyes open. Look around. When you see something that interests you, follow that. See where that takes you. If you decide later to change your mind, that is okay. You have a right to change your mind. Nothing is set in stone. You don’t have to be perfect. You will make it.”
My 10-year-old son came home from school one day crying. When I asked what was wrong, he told me he had made a B grade on a classroom assignment. He went on to say that grade would go on his permanent record, follow him all the way through his school years, and that he would never get into a good college!!! First, I comforted him by assuring him that 10-year-old fourth graders DO NOT HAVE PERMANENT RECORDS! But then I wanted to know how he even knew the words permanent record? Who put that into my son’s head?
I have had elementary school counselors ask me what to do for their elementary students who fill their office crying during the spring because they are afraid they will mess up on their state assessment tests. I would suggest that you tell them to be absent on the day of the testing and not worry about it.
All our children need to feel Acceptance and Worth in order to feel HOPE for their future. They deserve the same hope we were allowed to feel.
Stop the threats.
THEY WILL MAKE IT!
