Overview:
Building positive communication early and consistently with families fosters trust, strengthens home-school partnerships, and makes challenging conversations easier throughout the school year.
The dreaded email or phone call home lurks within every educator’s mind. Whether you are a first-year teacher or a seasoned teacher, you have experienced this feeling. But what if there was a way to make this less troublesome? As I’ve grown professionally as an educator, I have come to find that building partnerships with families is just as important as creating positive relationships with my students. As Graham-Clay (2024) states in her study, “communication with parents is critically important and needs to be positive, invitational, and built on relationship, trust, and a shared vision for the child.” Based on experiences, I have found that it is beneficial to take extra time to ensure that the first communication between myself and families is a positive one.
At the start of a new school year, many schools hold an “open house” format or some version of “meet the teacher” night. This is a great opportunity for teachers to engage with their child’s teacher in person and establish a positive relationship that centers around the learner. While this is great, some schools do not host this event until a month or so into the school year, leaving plenty of time for a host of positive and negative events to occur, some of which may require communication home. As with any new beginning, it can be difficult to adjust to change. We need to remember that parents are trusting us to nurture their children for 180 days out of the year. There are many ways that we can set a positive tone and it should start within the first few days of school. So, what are some options for setting a positive tone with families?
Phone call
It may take a few extra minutes of what we know is precious time in the education community, but set aside 10 extra minutes each day for the first few weeks of school. Make a list of 4 or 5 families to contact with a positive phone call home. This could be as simple as introducing yourself and verbalizing your intentions of looking forward to working together with the family to ensure that their child has a successful year in your classroom. Prior to the phone conversation, jot down something positive to share about their child during your conversation.
Letter
This may sound old-fashioned, but it can also be sent via email or included in your classroom newsletter. Please think of this as an invitation for families to allow them to share anything relevant about their child that they think would be helpful for you to know. You may be thinking that this could open up an invitation for a family to send paragraphs-long responses (and maybe it will). However, it sends a clear message to families that you value their insight and understand that you view them as their child’s first teacher. I’ve used this format for the past several years, posing this as a voluntary homework assignment for families to respond to at their convenience. I’ve received nothing but positive feedback and appreciation for giving families this unique opportunity. It also offers some insight into this new group of students in front of you. A suggested format for this can be found by doing a quick Google search of “One Million Words or Less” beginning of the year parent activities. The idea was originated by Deb Bova on the MiddleWeb site in 2003.
In addition to traditional emails or letters, you may want to consider using platforms like Remind, ClassDojo, or Seesaw. These apps offer a more casual and accessible way to stay in touch with families who may not regularly check their email. At the beginning of the year, it’s helpful to ask families what their preferred communication method is—this small step can go a long way in building reliable connections.
It’s also important to consider the cultural and linguistic backgrounds of your students and their families. Some families may not be familiar with the norms of teacher communication in your classroom or may face language barriers. Using tools like Google Translate, translation apps, or even asking for district support can ensure your message is both received and understood. Showing sensitivity to family culture helps foster a sense of belonging and as Gay (2010) states, culturally aligned communication fosters respect and increases family participation in school life.
As the year continues, sending positive emails or hand-written notes home consistently helps build this positive relationship. While many believe that an educator’s job is to help students learn, there is a reality that many parents want to know that the teacher likes their child. Let’s be realistic here, educators choose this profession because they care deeply about helping children make academic progress, foster positive relationships, and care for their well-being. One of the most eye-opening parent teacher conferences early in my career occurred when a parent told me that their child thought I didn’t like them. It was at this point that I realized the absence of consistent communication home, was impacting this family’s perception of my feelings towards their child. We all have areas for growth and it was at this point that I realized I needed to do better, even if it meant having difficult conversations with parents. At the end of the day, parents need to be aware of what is going on in the classroom, whether it be academic or social-emotional, positive or negative.
Since consistency is key, as mentioned above, try to come up with a routine of sending positive communication. You may want to consider keeping a simple checklist or log to ensure you’re reaching out to all families throughout the year. Weekly or monthly “shout-outs” via email, newsletter, or even a class website can provide consistent, low-prep routines that reinforce the home-school connection.
So why is it so important to go out of our way to make an initial phone call or send a quick email? Chances are at some point in the year some type of issue may arise whether it be academic or behavioral concerns. You will most definitely need to make your fair share of the “not-so-fun” emails and/or phone calls. It becomes much less intimidating if you’ve already established a positive relationship with the family and they understand that their child’s best interests are at the forefront of your thinking. As Epstein (2011) states, effective home-school communication builds trust. While we should continue to send weekly newsletters with updates, two-way communication is essential.
One additional tip that I may add is that I very rarely “cold call” a parent. Oftentimes it’s difficult to know when a parent is available for a phone conversation. I find that sending a quick email indicating the purpose of contacting them is helpful. Not only does this allow you to find a mutual time to chat, but it also gives the parent a heads up about the purpose of your request for a conversation.
It’s natural to feel anxious before making that first call or sending a message, especially as a new teacher. But over time, this gets easier—and having a few go-to sentence starters can help ease these worries. Try opening with something positive like, “I wanted to take a moment to share something positive I’ve noticed about [student’s name].” After that, feel free to share any concerns. Finally, end on a positive note by valuing the parent’s partnership or support in their child’s educational or social-emotional journey. It’s simple, authentic, and sets the tone for the conversation.
Key Takeaways
- Communicate early and often-not just when there’s a problem.
- Ensure messages are positive, constructive, and inclusive.
- Use multiple modes (phone, email, apps, in-person) to reach all families.
- Invite two-way dialogue, not just top-down information sharing.
- Be culturally responsive in tone, language, and content.
