• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Advertising
  • Write for Us
  • Job Board
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Consulting
    • Advertising
  • Shop
    • Books
    • Shirts

The Educators Room logo

  • Start Here
    • Impact Statements: Teacher Expertise
    • Newsletter
  • Browse Topics
    • Content Strategies
      • Literacy
      • Mathematics
      • Social Studies
      • Educational Technology
      • ELL & ESOL
      • Fine Arts
      • Special Education
      • Popular Topics
        • Teacher Self-Care
        • Instructional Coach Files
        • Common Core
        • The Traveling Teacher
        • The Unemployed Teacher
        • The New Teacher Chronicles
        • Book Review
        • Grade Levels
          • Elementary (K-5)
          • Middle (6-8)
          • Adult
          • New Teacher Bootcamp
          • Hot Button Topics
            • Menu Item
              • Principals' Corner
              • Charter Schools
              • Confessions of a Teacher
              • Interviews
              • The State of Education
              • Stellar Educator of the Week
            • Menu
              • How to Fix Education
              • Featured
              • Ask a Teacher
              • Teacher Branding
              • Current Events
  • Podcasts
  • Courses
    • Practicing Self-Care to Avoid Teacher Burnout- An 8 Week Course
    • Becoming An Educational Consultant
    • Teacher Branding 101:Teachers are The Experts
    • The Learning Academy
    • Books
    • Shirts
  • Education in Atlanta
  • Teacher Self-Care
  • The Coach's Academy
menu icon
go to homepage
subscribe
search icon
Homepage link
  • Advertising
  • Write for Us
  • Job Board
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Consulting
    • Advertising
  • Shop
    • Books
    • Shirts
×

February 11, 2019 Ask a Teacher

Respect in the Classroom: Earned, Not Expected

  • About the Author
  • Latest Posts

About Paula Kay Glass

Paula has a Masters degree in education with an emphasis on child development and child behavior. She has been an educator for 22 years. She founded a private elementary school in 2003 and is now working through the Moore Public School District in Moore, Oklahoma as a special education teacher. Paula is also a contributing writer to The Huffington Post and has a children's book published. Paula has three grown children and resides in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. You can contact her at glass foundations@sbcglobal.net or paulaglass@moorepublicschools.com.
  • Staying Within Law: Special Education Teachers and IDEA - September 1, 2020
  • Teaching With Minecraft EDU - April 3, 2019
  • Self-Care Is Priority One for This Teacher - February 13, 2019
  • Preparing Students For Teacher Absences - February 12, 2019
  • Respect in the Classroom: Earned, Not Expected - February 11, 2019
  • Dissing the Family Crazies: A Christmas Story - January 6, 2019
  • Band-Aiding The Mental Health of Our Children - November 23, 2018
  • We Must Love Them - November 5, 2018
  • Take One For the Team: The Need for Self-Care - August 19, 2018
  • The New Teacher Smell - August 19, 2018

There was a sub for one of my paras a couple of weeks ago and she set up shop in my classroom. We went through the day as usual, with her thoroughly enjoying her role after being out of the classroom for the past few years. At the end of the day, as I was thanking her for all she had done, the bell rang and a steady stream of kids began filtering into my room for their afterschool hugs and check-ins. As I loved on each one and celebrated the successes of their day, I didn’t realize that the sub was taking it all in. As the crowd thinned out and I began packing up for the day, the sub asked if "that" happened every day. I told her yes, and that "it" also happened in the morning before school began. She just smiled and told me how lucky those kids were to have someone in their lives that invested so much in them, even if they weren’t my students. She added that their actions spoke volumes about the respect they had for me. I smiled at her but had to interject that it was I who respected the kids. She looked a bit confused, but nodded her head and left.

Just because I am the grown-up in the classroom does not automatically create respect for me from kids. Shocking, I know.  I also know many teachers who do not go by this philosophy and just expect kids to show them respect no matter what. We need to understand that we are teaching PEOPLE; LITTLE PEOPLE and that just because we are older, bigger, wiser and degreed DOES NOT entitle us to be respected. Respect is earned, from both sides, even when it comes to kids.

Respect is earned, from both sides, even when it comes to kids Click To Tweet

If we approach our students like a dictator, not giving them choices or not viewing them as worthwhile of our time, how are we to ever teach the life skills that are waning from being taught at home?

Respect is loosely defined as ‘treating someone else how you want to be treated.’ When I walk into my classroom I treat my students the way I want them to treat me. I speak to them with kind words. I look them in the eyes when I’m talking to them. I ask them questions about their mornings before school. I make sure that they feel appreciated and loved and cared for and, above all, worthwhile. I do not berate them. I do not speak crossly to them. I do not create the expectation that I am in charge and that they should do as I say simply because I am the adult. All of the behaviors I want, come from them knowing that I truly want them to be a presence in my day, not because I throw my authority around.

We must meet our students where they are, whether that be as they come in happy, with satisfied stomachs, ready to learn, or if they come to us after being screamed at by their grown- ups, made to feel worthless and stupid. We need to remember that behaviors, positive AND negative, show up in how students are handled. For some, school is their safe place. That’s where we need to give them a clean slate, a feeling of justice and, to a point, equality. Creating a school day where students are continually belittled and not seen as important only reinforces the negative behaviors that we so want to be rid of.

As teachers enter their school day, we need to be aware of the struggles that our kids have been through prior to entering our building. Expecting respect without demonstrating it only sets them up for future failures. Be good role models for your students and they will provide you with everything you want from them, especially the respect we so want from them.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Related posts:

Taking the Anxiety Out of Student Placement in Special Education The Importance of Communication For IEP Students and Parents The New Teacher Smell Take One For the Team: The Need for Self-Care
« Putting the S in PBIS
Preparing Students For Teacher Absences »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mattie says

    February 11, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    Every year, we get into a conversation about dress code.
    "Why don't teachers have a dress code?"
    "Actually, we do, and it's stricter than yours. For instance, we're not supposed to wear jeans or any kind of tank top."
    "What? Why?"
    "Lots of people believe students won't respect their teachers if they're not dressed a certain way."
    "They think we won't respect you if you wear jeans or tank tops? That's dumb. We'll respect you if you respect us!"

    Every year. Every single year. Kids have the whole thing way more figured out than a lot of us adults do.

    Reply
    • Paula says

      February 12, 2019 at 6:01 pm

      Yes they do!!! In so many ways, especially knowing which teachers don’t value them!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

The Educator's Room was launched in 2012 to amplify the voice of educators. To date, we have over 45+ writers from around the world and boast over twelve million page views. Through articles, events, and social media we will advocate for honest dialogue with teachers about how to improve public education. This mission is especially important when reporting on education in our community; therefore, we commit our readers to integrity, accuracy, and independence in education reporting. To join our mailing list, click here.

What we do

At The Educator's Room, we focus on amplifying and honoring the voice of educators as experts in education. To date, we have over 40 staff writers/teachers from around the world.

Popular Posts

  • A Q&A with Baltimore Teachers Union President, Diamonté Brown
  • 6 Reasons to Use Read-Alouds Daily
  • The Secret Ingredients of Lesson Planning
  • The Exhaustion of Black Educators on Another "Day After"

Featured On

Buy Our Books/Courses

How to Leave Your Job in Education

Practicing Self-Care to Avoid Teacher Burnout

Using Your Teacher Expertise to Become an Educational Consultant

Check out our books on teaching and learning!

The Learning Academy

Footer

↑ back to top

About

  • Privacy Policy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Accessibility Policy

Newsletter

  • Sign Up! for emails and updates

Contact

  • Contact
  • Services
  • Media Kit
  • FAQ

 

Copyright © 2021 The Educator's Room.