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While the holidays are my favorite time of year, sometimes they can be a bit stressful. As the winter wears on, you maybe looking for a bit of relief.  With that in mind, here is a compilation of some of the funny things my ESL students have said to me over the years. Hopefully it will bring you a good laugh. Enjoy!


Student: Miss, I wasn’t borned here.

Teacher: That’s ok. Not everyone was born in New York.

Student: I wasn’t borned here. I was borned in New Jersey.

Teacher: Ok. New Jersey is a nice place.

Student: Wait. No. I was borned in a doctor.



Student:(looks at inflatable snowman lawn decoration) Is that real snow?



Student: Miss, I really love going to the beach(said with an accent which made beach sound like what you call a female dog).


Student: I know the answer to that question.

Teacher: Great! What do you think it is?

Student: I don’t feel like telling you.


Student: You’re not going to be here tomorrow?! Why not?

Teacher: It’s Saturday.


Student writing a sentence using the word scarce: The shoes in my closet are really scarce.


Student: How come you don’t have any children?

Student after learning about the Pilgrims: What do you mean they didn’t have bathrooms?! Where did they do their business? That’s gross.


After seeing a picture of a black cat: No! Bad luck! (while shielding eyes).


Student: You have parents? Really?


Student: What are you doing this summer?

Teacher: I’m going to Italy.

Student: No!! You can’t go!!

Teacher: Why not?

Student: We need you here! You can’t leave us!

Teacher: I’ll be back in time for school in September. You’re graduating anyway. You won’t have me next year.

Student: But I want to visit you.


Student: What’s wrong with your eyes?

Teacher: What?

Student: They look funny. They’re not brown.



Student: Why your eyes blue? You color with crayon?



Teacher: It’s Yankees with a yuh sound.

Student: I’ll say it the English way if you say it the Spanish way first.


Student: How do you have a black cat? Don’t you have bad luck all the time?



Student: The other day my bruddah…

Teacher: Your bruddah? Was your muddah there too?

Student: Hahahah you sound funny!



Student walking into my steaming hot classroom: It’s like global warming in here!


"Knowledge indeed is a desirable, a lovely possession." Thomas Jefferson

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