I was reading a Facebook (FB) post from the beautiful Gabriella T. Deyi, former Miss Wisconsin USA, Brand Ambassador at Mental Health America of Wisconsin, and one who also happens to be an illustrious alumnus of our high school. I have followed her throughout the years since she graduated, watching her run for Miss USA, establish an incredibly diverse and impactful career, and speak out on many crucial mental health issues.
Like Gabriella stated in her FB post dated 1/30/2022, I, too, was “haunted” by the recent death of her friend Cheslie Kryst: former Miss USA (2019), Extra New Correspondent, Lawyer, and Mental Health Advocate. The questions have echoed painfully in my head like I am sure they have for so many others.
How could this happen?
What could anyone have done differently?
And what can teachers learn from this beautiful soul who touched so many lives in her short thirty years on this Earth?
“I want people to know she was so much more than what people saw. So beautiful inside and out, and she was just like that in real life” (Gabriella Deyi, 1/31/22). I reached out to Gabriella today and listened to the heartbreak in my former student’s words as she struggled for words through her tears, holding back my own to offer love, support, and encouragement. Finally, she choked out the words we all need to know about her friend….” Cheslie was a human being.” My heart mourns with Gabriella as I feel her loss on a level I couldn’t explain. I did not know Cheslie, but I began to understand even more the tremendous impact she had on this world through my former student.
In Gabriella and Cheslie’s Instagram (IG) live from back in 2020, Cheslie asked Gabriella, “What are some signs that people may not think to look for in someone struggling with their mental health?” Gabriella’s response was, “…people usually don’t look at their strong friend….the one that seems to have it all together”.
As teachers, we can relate from having to hold things inside on a daily, and if these last few years have taught us nothing else, continuing to internalize emotions, stress and trauma is one of the unhealthiest things one can do. Our students are no different. We all have gone through so much lately that a focus on mental health has become more critical than ever.
Reading the news headlines stating “Cheslie Kryst was…” is devastating beyond words. As one of the five (5) Black women who won the major beauty pageants in 2019, to proudly wearing her natural curls, to being an attorney with an established high-profile career, she was a trailblazer (The Washington Post, 1/30/2022). There is so much inspiration in the story of her life. Our students, specifically our African American female students, will be able to see themselves in one who was a role model to so many. But what are the lessons we should learn from such a tragic story?
“Dr. Jennifer Ashton, ABC News chief medical correspondent, said Monday on “Good Morning America” that when someone dies by suicide, people may wonder if they missed warning signs. But there should be no blame” (ABC News Former Miss USA and ‘Extra’ correspondent Cheslie Kryst dies at 30, 1/31/2022).
How many times have we heard about the importance of mental health in the last few years? And yet here we have a gorgeous woman, stunningly beautiful inside and out, who, for reasons we will never know, chose to end her own life. As an educator, I not only see the faces of my students but my colleagues, “the strong ones” who seem to have it all together. We have to learn from stories like these.
So, what can we do? Pay attention, check-in, reach out, seek therapy, meditate, and yes, pray. Whatever your beliefs, we need to find healthy ways to ensure that we do not focus on the external beauty, intelligence, humor, accolades, or other things we might mistake for someone appearing to “have it all together.” If nothing else, this latest tragedy has affirmed my dedication to self-care. As I continue on this journey to find that work/life balance, to maintain positive mental health, and to continue to press on, striving to persevere in the face of all adversity, I look to Cheslie’s last photo and post on IG, just hours before her death and read her last words of inspiration: “May this day bring you rest and peace.” May you find rest and peace in Eternal Paradise beautiful one. I choose to rest, Cheslie. I choose peace. Selah.
