An Act Declaring April the Worst Month to Teach

About Jake Miller

Mr. Jake Miller teaches middle school history near Harrisburg, PA. He is the 2016 National History Day Pennsylvania Teacher of the Year and a 2017 NEA Foundation Teacher of Excellence. His articles have appeared in The Washington Post, The Guardian, WeAreTeachers, and several other periodicals, but Miller has called TER home since 2012.

AN ACT DECLARING APRIL “THE WORST MONTH TO TEACH”

Be it enacted by The Educator’s Room Readers and Writers:

Whereas, by now, students and teachers have shared on average 130 classroom days together;

Whereas teachers have hit the “survival mode button” more times than Staples customers have hit the “That Was Easy” button;

Whereas students that should start to care about their grades (and possible failures), don’t. And we know that April showers bring “May I do something for extra credit?”;

Whereas, at this point in the year, students have come to annoy the bejeezus out of teachers;

Whereas, at this point in the year, teachers have come to annoy the bejeezus out of students;

Whereas there’s about one marking period remaining in the school year;

Whereas some of the high school girls are itching to break the dress code once again;

Whereas the testing season approaches, many teachers have high anxiety about their students’ performance;

Whereas some students share that testing anxiety;

Whereas others have made a collective shrug ¯\_(ツ)_/¯;

Whereas April is also IEP history month, and all special ed teachers are scratching their heads on how to fit LEAs, regular ed teachers, and parents into their schedule;

Whereas counselors making transition years (5th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade, 9th grade, 12th grade) are slammed with emails from students they have, will have, or have had;

Whereas it’s even worse in dealing with their parents. “Are you sure Jimmy shouldn’t be in a higher math class?”;

Whereas April is tax month and, yes, I still have to process mine. Don’t all teachers?;

Whereas in the T.S. Eliot poem “The Waste Land,” the first line is “April is the Cruelest Month.”;

Whereas Spring + middle school = [insert explosion or crying faces of adults];

Whereas Easter and Spring Break is early this year, so we’re in the long stretch between now and Memorial Day, confirming Eliot’s quote;

Whereas it is not an accident that “National Beer Day” is April 7th. Yes, this is a thing. Teachers celebrate it;

Whereas most extra-curricular events will end this month, giving students lots of dig for trouble like it’s a lost treasure;

Whereas that time spent together has hatched a comfort of students with their teacher, causing them to no longer toe the line, but cross it;

Whereas, in the case of seniors, they are now playing hopscotch with this line;

Whereas, in the case of Kindergartners, they are playing hopscotch with any line they can, including this one;

Whereas April has been proven to be one of the most violent months, especially in schools;

 

RESOLVED: Be it enacted, by this common, collected, and unofficial teacher legislature, that April will be declared “THE WORST MONTH TO TEACH.” April has been put on notice.

All those who like or share this post have agreed to these terms and provide a vote of “YAY” – can’t wait until May (which can sometimes be even worse).

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By |2018-03-25T19:41:02+00:00March 25th, 2018|Featured, Opinion|0 Comments

About the Author:

Mr. Jake Miller teaches middle school history near Harrisburg, PA. He is the 2016 National History Day Pennsylvania Teacher of the Year and a 2017 NEA Foundation Teacher of Excellence. His articles have appeared in The Washington Post, The Guardian, WeAreTeachers, and several other periodicals, but Miller has called TER home since 2012.

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