The Danger of Wanting to be a Perfect Teacher

When I first decided to become an educator, I remember thinking, “I’m going to be a perfect teacher.” As a student, my teachers (even the ones I didn’t have the best experience with) always seemed to have it together. They knew the answers to all our questions, their lessons (even the more uninteresting ones) were well-planned, and they had us doing something from the second we entered the classroom to the moment the bell rang, signaling the end of class.

On top of it all, they managed a class with 35+ students with little problem. They were like superheroes. As such, I wanted to emulate them. I wanted to wear a metaphorical cape in my classroom, soaring perfectly from lesson to lesson and handling any issue that came my way like a pro.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I’m suddenly in front of my classroom. I was ready to shine, flex my superhero muscles, and prove that I could be the perfect teacher. So, in my teaching experiences, I planned lessons for hours, tried to make the most engaging lessons, provided detailed feedback on assignments, and did the work. Still, things weren’t adding up. I quickly realized that I did not have it together. There were times in the classroom that my lessons, that I’d spend hours planning, would flop as soon as I tried teaching it to my students, assignments started piling up, and students would chat and distract one another while I was teaching. I had no clue what my teachers had that I didn’t. Were they born with a ‘teacher gene’ that somehow skipped my DNA during birth?

These thoughts and, overall, my experiences in the classroom made me vastly uncomfortable. As a perfectionist, not being perfect every day in school felt like a punch in the gut. Furthermore, I thought this was an experience I had only had. I peeked into other classrooms, and the other teachers always taught effortlessly. I was seeing superheroes everywhere, and I felt left out. This made me anxious to reach out to other educators for fear of being “the odd one out” or not getting it. So, I struggled in silence. I went through each day internalizing that I was a failure, unable to live up to the educators before me, those who surrounded me, and my goal of achieving perfection.

Eventually, through back-door discussions with other teachers, they were all feeling the same things – even teachers who had been teaching for a decade – and this was jarring at first but reassuring. I realized that there is no shame in feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing 100% of the time because perfection is not only an unrealistic expectation, it’s a damaging one; feeling pressured to be a perfect teacher all the time will get in the way of the process of the learning that is so critical to becoming a better educator. I mean, if we were perfect, then what’s the point of honing our craft?

So, from my time of being a teacher, here is what I’ve learned in terms of the dangers of seeking perfection:

1. Perfection is not possible – I know all the perfectionists out there probably spilled their drinks reading this. It’s a tough pill to swallow – accepting that there is something you won’t be perfect at and never will be perfect at is difficult. However, this is 100% normal and 100% okay. No teacher is perfect and no teacher should try to be (and this applies beyond the education field). We will exhaust ourselves, chasing something impossible to attain. It is important to slowly let go of these constraining expectations so that we aren’t consumed by disappointment over something entirely out of our control.
2. Seeking perfection is hypocritical – Yes. Seeking perfection (especially as an educator) is hypocritical. We always tell our students that making mistakes is quintessential to personal growth. We encourage them to take risks, step up to life’s challenges, and step out of their comfort zones. This is all uncomfortable for our students but we support and guide them through that anxiety. As such, if we preach this to our kids and, in the same breath, cower in the face of taking risks and moving away from perfection, then we are not practicing the very principles we teach. Like our students, we should feel more accepting of not being perfect.
3. Perfection breeds complacency – Chances are, if we chase perfection, we won’t push ourselves to take risks because we fear making mistakes. Eventually, we won’t be experimenting in the classroom and will be satisfied with a certain level of work if we feel like we’ve “perfected” our routine. However, we won’t be willing to change because it could disrupt our flow and what’s already “working for us.” Educators need change (in moderation) to keep our students challenged and interested and to push our skills to the next level.
4. Perfection is an illusion – This is similar to point #1, but perfection is not only impossible but also an illusion. I know, crazy, right? We may have seen educators on social media dominating their classrooms, we may have heard our friends talk about how their favorite teachers were so “perfect,” and we may have poured over educator do-how books and wondered why we couldn’t successfully execute the activities the writers describe in their books. However, perfection does not exist, and even if it does, the definition would be so subjective that it could lead us to strive for something that doesn’t exist. We all have different groups of students, work in different school districts, and have different access to resources, so our ideas of perfection will vary as we all cannot meet the same “standard of perfection.” It’s an illusion, so Let. It. Go.
5. Chasing perfection distracts us from the journey – When we are drunk on the idea of being perfect, we don’t revel in the beauty of our complicated and unique journeys. A key part of teaching is learning. We learn daily, and chasing perfection takes us away from the learning experience, which is the crux of becoming better educators. As such, if we anchor ourselves to this idea of perfection, we’ll sink below our opportunity to grow and improve.

I’m in my third year of teaching, and I still catch myself getting upset at not being perfect. However, I’m also acknowledging that it’s dangerous to think like this. As tempting as it is to want to be perfect, it does more harm than good for our self-efficacy and personal growth. Even our superheroes make mistakes trying to save the world.