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In 2007,  a black woman named Tarana Burke started the original Me Too movement.  The Me Too Movement empowers victims of sexual assault and harassment to speak out in solidarity.  In 2017, the movement gained steam when prominent white women began tweeting #MeToo and speaking out about their own stories of survival.  Time Magazine even named The Silence Breakers as their “Person of the Year.”  Although this has been a watershed moment and we are seeing famous and powerful people’s careers ended because they have sexually assaulted and harassed others, there are still some areas in the #MeToo movement that has yet to come to light and have the same level of importance.

Many times when you hear about sexual misconduct in a school setting, it involves a school employee having inappropriate contact or making comments of a sexual nature to students.  What we don’t talk about are the students who sexually harass teachers.  This is my twelfth year as an educator.  I have taught high school students during student teaching and ninth graders in a 6-9 building, but this year is my first year working at a designated high school as a certified teacher.  Many of my relatives did not support my transition to my current high school role; I teach English part time and coach teachers in literacy during the rest of my day.  Although I am in my mid-thirties, I frequently get mistaken for a student despite the fact that I wear a pants suit almost every day.  My youthful appearance and the incidents that happened to me in the past at two different middle schools where I previously worked made some of my friends and family members wonder if I was asking for more harassment stepping into a high school role.

[bctt tweet=”What we don’t talk about are the students who sexually harass teachers.” username=”EducatorsRoom”]

My first year in the classroom was tough.  I taught Honors American Studies (a blend between history and English), regular English, and inclusion English.  I did my best to teach well and manage my classroom.  One day, one of my male students decided to cross the line.  He started repeatedly asking me questions about my nipples.  Not quietly, but loud enough where everyone in my class could hear.  No amount of ignoring him worked.  “Come on Mrs. Barnes.  I want to know if your nipples are really hard right now?  It’s a yes or no question.”  Then, I changed up my strategy.  I stopped ignoring him and replied, “Right now we have an assignment to finish.  That should be your focus.  Do I need to call the office?”  After that, he shrugged and finally did his work.  I felt uncomfortable and mortified.  I was wearing a boring suit and I didn’t understand what led him to act in this manner. Later, I wrote him up and the school suspended him for five days.  

I was the only black teacher working in this suburban school.  This five day suspension sent shock waves through the school.  The gossip aftermath was the worst.  I overheard one student say to another student, “My parents said she probably was asking for it because kids don’t say things like that to teachers unless teachers have invited it.”  At the end of the school year, I decided to leave this school in the suburbs and I have been an urban educator ever since.  Unfortunately, another incident was to come in an urban middle school setting.

A few school years later, another incident occurred. There was a student who many girls had a crush on.  Although he was constantly in trouble, many of our middle school girls would swarm around him.  In my class on several occasions, I would overhear him saying how fine I was or how good I look to other boys.  When I would circulate around the classroom to help students and I passed him, he would lick his lips and wink at me.  I had a few conversations with him in the hall where the video cameras were to explain how inappropriate his behavior was and I also called his home.   After calling home, the behaviors went away or so I thought; he was working up to a big finale.  

Later, when I was reviewing grammar, he started licking his lips at me during the lesson.  I told him to stop or I was going to send him to another room to get himself together.  Instead of stopping, he decided to put his hand inside of his pants and began stroking his penis and making inappropriate comments. “Mrs. Barnes forget Mr. Barnes.  You know you want this.”  During the previous incident I described students chuckled, but during this incident students were in shock and looked as uncomfortable as I felt.  At that point, I sat down my grammar book, picked up the phone and called the office. He was removed from my room and subsequently suspended. This incident ended up being the last straw because he was constantly in trouble.  He didn’t return after his suspension because he was expelled.

[bctt tweet=”Even writing this article isn’t pleasant.” username=”EducatorsRoom”]

For both incidents, writing the referral was the worst.  Even writing this article isn’t pleasant.  When you have to sit down and describe how someone (especially a student) has violated you, it is uncomfortable.  You wonder if there was something you could have down differently and it changes how you interact with future students.  My current high school students know I don’t like to be hugged.  They don’t totally get it, but they respect it.  We fist bump, high five and do this weird elbow bump thing, but I choose not to hug my high school students because of how easy it is for someone to suggest you provoked or asked for certain behavior from students.

When I think about the #MeToo movement, I wonder where we have gone wrong in society where men and women feel this behavior is appropriate, where students feel this behavior is okay.  My twins boys are six and my husband and I have discussed the need for having open conversations with them about sexual conduct when they are older, so it is clear what actions are wrong and the consequences if they take certain actions.  No educator should have to put up with sexual harassment from anyone especially a student.  We have to have open dialogues with our youth to stop this behavior while they are young. I believe the adults who are involved in sexual misconduct now probably began back in childhood, possibly in some teacher’s classroom.

Educator Barnes is a middle school dean and adjunct college professor. Previously, she served as...

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38 Comments

  1. WOW! What a powerful article! Thank you for continuing to put out necessary topics! I cringe thinking of what you had to go through.

    1. Thanks for your comment Janicia. I hope as we move forward in education, we will find a way to eliminate this behavior from the classroom.

    2. Hi, I’m a high school teacher and I too have had a similar experience happen to me while teaching. While teaching at one of my previous schools, I was leaning over helping a student with her work when suddenly I felt a very hard slap on my butt. I turned around and said excuse me? Who just touched me inappropriately? One of the boys said I did nothing and everyone in the back row laughed. So I got the whole back row to stay back after class to figure out who touched me inappropriately. When I addressed the boy’s after class I said now who did it and all the boys pointed to one boy and he said I did nothing. So wrote down all their names and said I would have to report it to the principal. After school I went to the principal and reported what had happened in class. The principal said they would have a talk to the boys. The boy who did the slap was sent to a detention room during my class for 2 lessons then was allowed back in my class again. I asked the principal what was going to be the outcome for the boy who slapped my butt and they said that all 5 boys who saw it happen confirmed it was an accident. If it was an accident why did all the boys laugh when it happened and why was there no apology? It was a very precise and firm accident.

  2. I too am experiencing this currently and I’m at a point where I want to request a transfer if I have to see this student again. He only got a 3 day suspension and now the whole school I feel knows about it. I don’t know what to do I just feel so embarrassed about the situation.

  3. My first year teaching high school I had a pretty awful incident. I’m curious how often cases of harassment of teachers by students occur.

    I’m not sure how age and race factor into this but I am white and at the time I was 24 years old. The students I taught were mostly African American. I was a typical first year teacher struggling with classroom management.

    A student approach me after class one day to ask about the assignments he was missing. Previously, he had been really poorly behaved and hardly did any work I assigned. I was really excited that he seemed to be making a turnaround. I diligently looked up his numerous missing assignments in my grade book. Just as the last student left the room I noticed he was leaning in a bit too close. I looked up and his penis was out. I’m sure I had a look of horror on my face. He said sorry, tucked it back in his pants, and left the room.

    I immediately went next door to my department chair/mentor. After I awkwardly told her about the incident she marched me over to the campus security office and had me file a police report.

    In the end the child got a 10 day suspension and he was switched to my coworker’s classroom. She was less than thrilled to have him join her class. The boy was already on probation and there was a rumor that he had been kicked out of a previous school for having group sex on campus.

    I’m not sure what else the school should have done in this situation but it certainly didn’t feel like it was handled properly. There ought to be better protocols in place. I wish the child had received intensive psychological help after that episode but I felt so uncomfortable I let the case drop.

    1. I agree with you about the student receiving some type of counseling. That behavior is not acceptable in our society and without intervention, this child could repeat the actions again.

      I also think it is hard as an educator to press charges against a student. There isn’t a college course titled Pressing Charges Against Students 101 to prepare you on how to deal with these type of situations.

  4. Thank you for writing this. I am a private music teacher in a large arts academy. I recently had a student that I taught for 3 years expose himself and then rub himself during a lesson. I was shocked and disgusted. I have felt uncomfortable with him for a while and just kept trying to brush it off. I went to my supervisor, the principle etc. I teach many students at the school and my own offices, this happened in my office. I feel like he is getting away with it at the school. Today I passed him in the hall and he smirked at me. I am not more fearful than I was originally. I kept thinking I was to blame or misinterpreting… now I’m worried for my safety and the safety of the other students and staff.

  5. You’re welcome. I was hesitant about writing this article, but I’m glad I did. I had heard from so many educators that have had similar stories.

    Your worry and concern is justified. When a student is bold enough to make those type of actions towards an adult, I always worry what type of actions the student might be making towards peers.

  6. You are not alone, Im a second year male teacher and I currently under lawsuit for a female student who harrassed me and other teachers but administration didnt do anything. She and her friends were mad for the assignments given and she accused me of touching now in a legal turmoil. Despite been assaulted 3 times in a year. I never felt safe in that campus. Hopefully everything turns out well. Your article ia empowering thank you for speaking up

    1. I wish there was a way to band together. It is so scary to think that our basic rights are being stripped in the middle of broad daylight and the perpetrator doesn’t even have to hide it. In fact one of my perpetrators published it on the internet. One of those boys were rewarded and sent as a role model to our capitol this year. It was humiliating to see his picture plastered. It all came flooding back. I fear too for my physical being and the mental state of these students. The gun crisis is just the tip of the iceberg. Good luck to you. I will pray for you and your family

  7. Thank you for addressing this. Currently, I’m just a secondary social studies ed student at IUPUI, but I’ve dealt with sexual harassment enough in various spheres of my life that I knew I should probably look for strategies on how to handle SH situations before leading a classroom. I know I can’t necessarily be ready for every situation, but having more teachers communicate their experiences and how things were handled by the schools makes me feel more confident, more prepared, and less alone coming into the profession.

  8. Katherine, I glad the stories of other educators are helping you as you continue as a social studies education student at IUPUI. There are aspects of this profession that college doesn’t prepare you to handle.

  9. Thank you so much for this article! I’m facing daily awkward comments from my high school pupils (all boys) and I really dont know what to do anymore. I’m from Italy and the culture here is so different and nobody thinks that I’m complaining about something worthy. The administrations wont listen and so will other collegues.
    People thinks that if they say that Im pretty, I should only be proud, Im not supposed to complain

  10. Thanks for sharing–I’m currently dealing with this, but the student is 7. And I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it other than that he hates me and my butt is the easiest thing for him to grab and hit. But becuase I’m teaching in China, there’s not much that I can do, and even less tha thte school will do. I have PTSD because of past abuse and I’m afraid I’m going to react instinctively and hurt him one of these times.

  11. I too have been dealing with this for many years. My first REAL incident was when a student stroked himself in the middle of the classroom. I tried to act like it wasn’t shocking thinking he was just looking for a reaction and I told him he needed to get to the group I assigned to him and he had to take his hands from his pants. THIS WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. He replied, “can I help it if you make me hard” then he proceeded to bend himself over a table and slapped his butt. I sent him out of the room and wrote up the discipline slip after calling the office. His consequence… a 17 minute lunch detention and they sent him back to class. In fact, initially he was just spoken to until I made a HUGE point to say I would not go back to the classroom with this student if he is allowed to do anything without consequence. I indicated that I didn’t feel safe. The principal replied that this had happened secveral times the year before and asked if THIS was how I wanted him to start his new year, implying that this was somehow my fault. Since that incident there have been other emails that my partner received about oral sex, etc that was dealt wtih in a similar fashion. 2 years ago, students who I had 3 years prior hacked into my school mandated website during the school day, during technology class and pretending to be me wrote, ” Hey Kids, tell all your dads I’m a blonde cougar and I want to suck the cum out of their dicks.” In addition to things about my doing illegal drugs, raping kids, and more. This went VIRAL and kids all snapped pictures and of course twitter and snapchat lit up. After 3 days nothing had been done and it was only spreading further. Finally, so sick I had to see my doctor for anxiety medicine. I could no longer teach in front of my class becasue no amount of clothing, so it seemed, could keep me from being vulnerable from what was on their minds. Students in my very own classroom had shared the tweet and were never talked to about it, ever. Nor did they receive a consequence. I had to leave school early that year and I physically or mentally could not bring myself to coming back until January of the following year. In fact, I went to the police station and they refused to let me fill out a police report. Now fast foward 2 years and I find myself in a similar situation with similar consequence. It isn’t fair for anyone. I feel like once struck by lightening you are more apt to be struck again because for wahtever reason people know you are a safe target. Nobody is protecting us and although I’m trying to be strong, I am really at risk and I’m scared, and sick. I am only a few years from being able to retire and I don’t know if I can make it. All these years, and I LOVE teaching and this breaks my heart but sickens me to my deepest core. HOW do I finish and pretend like all of this is okay? My admin is not only detrimental, they are punitive for my having spoken out. They tried to refuse to pay me workmans comp while I was out and then two weeks after winning my case, I received a letter in my file about some students that just didn’t like me. The students had literally NO INCIDENTS to report but had a feeling about me, indicated that I had favorites in class…. I’ve seen lawyers but it seems impossible to really sue the school. Anyone? I need help.

  12. It’s crap like this that has lead me to conclude teaching is not the right path for me. Everyone loves to talk trash about teachers, the media loves to cover stories about teachers abusing students but no one covers the reverse or does a damn thing about it. Working in education for three years I’ve had my fair share of disturbing incidents, some funny (an autistic kindergarten child rubbing her lady parts, dealt with by admin and staff contacting home), others mortifying (a group of male students asking about my sex life repeatedly in the middle of class, would not quit), and through it all I’ve tried to see the good. But in an era where everyone thinks we have great benefits and a short work year, that anyone can teach, and any flaw is harshly criticized (even simple things like a photo of drinks with friends during the summer on social media can bring one down), it just isn’t worth it. Take my latest job for example, teaching 9th and 11th grades. These kids didn’t want to learn or behave, just play on their phones and get instantly gratified- among this bunch many had flunked earlier classes on the same topic in middle school or barely passed, getting socially promoted in a community with a lot of sob stories about shitty home lives. What does admin do when the kids act up and bully the teacher? No matter what the reality, they cover their own asses and back the kids, chasing the teacher out of the district. And it’s not just the boys, as a male adult, any accusation by a female student was treated as gospel. I’m done.

  13. god help this fucking country…if he doesn’t do something soon he will have to apologize to Egypt.

  14. Hi, me too wanted to share my experience and need some advice. I have this bright one bright male student in my class. He is very smart, a school prefect and always portray good behaviour at school. He always come to me for guidance in his studies. But recently i noticed that he has been leaning way too close to me whenever he come and ask questions. There is this one time i was pasting a poster on the notice board, he was standing behind me, i didnt notice, when i reversed myself, i almost fell on him. Luckily i managed to grab on a chair. I kinda think that was intentional. But im feeling so in between because how could a very smart, bright and good student would do such thing? It doesnt make any sense. And the most recent is when he tried to help take my books from me when i was walking down the corridor, his hand kind of rub my chest. I was shocked that i dropped my books and i asked him to leave. I believe that was intentional. And I know people around me will not believe this kind of story because ‘why would a smart, good looking, kind young boy would do such thing to a fat old teacher?’ which lead me to this website.

  15. I’m glad you wrote this article. Even googling “sexual harassment of teachers by students” I kept getting hits of the teachers as perps. I was a school counselor for 28 years and I sometimes had kids who practiced flirting with me, like they would with their great-aunt Ruth. It was innocent and it felt innocent, but every now and again their was the creep ones, but never anything like the others have described.
    Now I live overseas where they don’t have school counselors and my language skills are only mediocre. That’s what happens when you marry a European late in life. I am working in an after school program and small handful of the boys (grades 6-8) have taken to yelling the local word for “penis” in the room where I work and daring some of the other boys to do the same. The head of the program says they are “challenging” me. True enough, but this isn’t talking or flying paper airplanes during homework time. They’ve also displayed sexual simulation (thrusting and grunting). All I get from the school is a talk from the male biology teacher and “they have always been problems.” It’s only escalated and now other boys are acting like jerks, although not sexually.
    You’re article feels supportive. Thank you for the “guts” to write it.

  16. I’m dealing with an incident of sexual harassment at my middle school. This student only received a 2-day suspension. I feel so uncomfortable around him now that he has returned. I’m the only one who teaches this grade level subject so there isn’t another class that he can be moved to. I feel like I have been violated at the 2-day suspension is just a slap on the wrist. This child is constantly in trouble and I feel as if me being violated wasn’t taken seriously. If the tables were turned, I’d be subject to being fired, displayed all over the news. Why is it that teacher’s mental well-being isn’t taken seriously. What other profession do you work with people who are not mentally ill, but are allowed to inflict such emotionally injurious actions towards you without real consequence. Each day I think that I don’t want to teach anymore because it is overwhelming, the burden of everything other than actually teaching.

    1. Please report this to administration or the police- try to find someone in the union who will help you. Tell this student that he is inappropriate and to back off. If he acts shocked, keep your cool and keep writing him up- put everything in writing. It might not be worth your sanity to continue in this position. I’m serious- if you were in an office and a male co worker did this- they could be fired. This is not fair but true. At least we know we are not alone! We’re all being harassed!

  17. I teach art in an urban public high school. I have been sexually harassed by male students several times. The latest is a male student who , after I explained to another student that the flowers I had came from a forsythia bush, the student thrust out his pelvis and said, “ I have a bush!” He also told his female math teacher to “suck my dick.” I am 67 and retiring in June- admin only suspended him and told me I should not have sent him to the office- I should have called them to come to get him. I’m sick of it all- I have lots of great students but I am too stressed to take it any more. These kids need help.Teachers need to find a way to stop this abuse from students. We need a vehicle to help us survive. Any ideas? I’m retiring but feel bad for those who can’t retire. It is a very ugly place now and someone has to do something!

  18. Has noone considered a Title VII lawsuit? I am an education attorney in Colorado and we file lawsuits like this all the time. The only way the law changes to protect a new class of people is through lawsuits that make government agencies and decision makers realize there is a problem (or through the court forcing them to acknowledge a problem). Most attorneys would take cases like these on a contingency basis.

    1. Most teachers feel very guilty about pressing charges against the students that we are committed to helping… even when those students are doing horrible, reprehensible things to us, many teachers and schools make excuses for those students because we are in a “helping profession.” Also, I don’t know how things work in your state, but in my state my union that I pay $1,000 a year to be a part of has made it very clear that they will not pay for any teacher’s legal bills until AFTER he/she wins a legal case. Since teachers are usually underpaid, the financial burden that this would place on us makes us very unlikely to file any sort of suit, even if we would probably win and are in the right.

  19. I am so glad that you wrote this article, since most people don’t realize how common of an issue this is. The bullying of teachers is becoming such a problem in American schools that the American Psychological Association is calling it a silent epidemic. In my case, I first experienced a situation like this when I was student teaching. Also as you pointed out, it seems to be a problem that is swept under the rug in suburban schools. In my suburban student teaching placement, my cooperating teacher and I were both fairly attractive, so it was seen as being our fault when our male 9th grade student began full-on masturbating in the middle of class while looking at us. Even though we sent him to the and he was clearly high as a kite, they sent him right back to the room within 10 minutes of us sending him out. Later, when I was in a rural school, a 9th grade boy tried to lick my face while I was teaching Algebra. I received far more support at this school than at the last one, but the boy still viewed the situation as a joke and bragged about the fact that he framed my write-up up and put it on his wall… even many years later as an adult, the perverted little punk still brags about this story in the local community. Based on these experiences, another teacher who has experienced harassment and myself are starting a female empowerment club next year for girls grades 8-12 after school. We specifically want to help them understand what their rights are, how they can protect themselves, and how they can learn to love/respect themselves despite societal pressures.

    1. i agree that the movment should be made. the people who do things like that need to actully have consequences as well.

  20. I feel stupid writing this after reading everyone else’s experiences. I’m writing it anyway only because it seems to be my only outlet. I was teaching 6th grade social studies and language arts and there was a student who was constantly acting up, ignoring anything I tried to say to get him to stop. It was mainly petty stuff, things that would incite other students to make comments, etc. One day, though, he was walking down the hall and saw a poster advertising Blow-Pops for a student council fundraiser. When he got to my classroom, he stood up and loudly asked, “Hey, Mrs. H…can you give me a Blow Pop?” I told him he needed to step out of the room so I could speak with him and he responded, “Oh, are you gonna give me one out in the hall?” I reported this to administration and asked that the student be moved to another class, which was entirely possible. I was completely ignored. I still work with this student as an 8th-grader now, as I’ve changed campuses. Since he is in special education (ADD/ADHD), he has to be handled differently, but I’m sure there should have been consequences. It still makes me sick to see him.

  21. Ugh. I’m kind of dealing with this right now, but it’s subtle, and I’m a fat 48-year-old high school world language teacher, so I keep thinking it’s just my imagination. It makes me feel so uncomfortable, though. I haven’t taught the lower levels for a few years, but have a class
    of a bunch of freshmen and sophomores this year, and some of the boys are obnoxious, saying my accent is sexy, talking about a threesome with me and my best friend (who I was describing to the class). It’s all mumbled under the breath and I almost don’t believe it’s actually real, but it feels so uncomfortable. They feed off each other and think it’s funny and I’ve been pretending I don’t hear or understand, but it feels ugly, and I feel guilty because of the girls in the class. I should stick up for myself for their sakes, but it’s embarrassing because why would these boys say stuff like that to an old teacher?

  22. I was an employee of a company which operates juvenile detention facilities in the USA. I was working as a science teacher at one of their facilities. I endured egregious sexual harassment at the hands of the students there. While I was certainly aware of the hazards job before I accepted it, I was told in no uncertain terms that “we don’t put up with any nonsense from these boys” and “we will back you up.” They did nothing despite my reporting, through daily reports, e-mails and so forth, that I was being sexually harassed by these students. Comments were not only made about my weight but also about the way I walked. I had spinal fusion surgery of L4 and L5 to fix a slipped vertebra at L4 three years ago. I have some nerve damage from the slipped vertebra. It is permanent and sometimes causes me to have a change in gait, especially with barometric pressure changes. I especially notice it if it is going to rain, snow, etc. Witnesses can attest to the fact that the company did nothing to protect me, though they knew all about what was going on. I ended up having panic attacks from this and having to resign because it was so hostile and threatening. The students even shoved me on the last day I was there. I am seriously considering legal action against the company and the students.

    1. I think that is something to take legal action about. those people need to have some sort of chounciling as well.

  23. I am a male and I was sexually assaulted in school. A middle school girl grabbed my butt full grab in front of all the kids. All laughed. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Girl got expelled but I am finding it hard to go back to work. Is anyone else feeling this way or is it just me?

  24. I am a 9th grade high school teacher, and I was sexually harassed by a group of students whom I don’t even teach. It was after school, and I was by myself in my room when I heard a knock at my door. It was a student, and he asked me the time, which is weird because most of these students have phones. I told him I don’t have the time, and he looked disappointed, so I walked over to my computer then gave him the time. While I was walking, I heard a comment about my butt, but I wasn’t sure. I gave him the time, he said thank you then left. However, I heard talking and giggling by my door, so I walked over to see what’s going on and it was the same student and he said to his friends that he just got a better view of my butt. I opened the door and I said do not disrespect me like that. Of course, he and his group of five friends laughed in my face and looked me up and down like I was a piece of meat. The same student then said he wouldn’t even let me suck his dick. I never felt so violated in my entire life! I never experienced anything like this. A teacher heard me yelling, and after the boys ran off, I explained to him what happened, and he texted the principal. I went down to the see the principal, who was in the security office, checking the cameras. I, too, viewed the footage, and I saw the six boys run to my classroom then hide in the corners while the same student knocked on my door. I was creeped out and disgusted!!! They obviously planned this and these students are upperclassmen; therefore, I never interacted with them before. I felt like a target, and of course all they got was a 5 day suspension. I was told these boys are always suspended, so what is a suspension going to solve? That’s a vacation for them. There was no meeting with me and the parents, no follow up, no nothing. I hate coming to work even more. I now wear long sweaters every single day. I don’t feel safe and I don’t know what to know.

  25. I have been in this position as a new teacher and as I enter back into the secondary arena, I see it rearing its ugly head again. As a novice teacher I was told to approach it from a place of empathy. “Is someone at home hurting you?” The thought behind that is for a young man to think it is acceptable to make advances to an adult woman and think it’s okay, something must be happening inappropriate in his home life. I can’t always say it is effective, but again, I get it.

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